On my way home from work, I'm catching a bus scheduled at a rather busy time of the day; however, the bus would not become "crowded" for several stops.

When it does, it's very apparent. As the gaps between seats begin to close, a man walks past the open seat directly to the right of me, in hope of finding another seat in the back.

No dice.

He turns back, and slumps into the aforementioned vacant seat beside me, his left leg now resting against my right leg. I take notice, but pay no mind. Instead, I continue to test a mobile game I would be updating features on later.

About a minute passes, and I start to feel as though the "weight", for lack of a better term, of his leg changed; as though he was leaning a bit toward me. That suspicion was confirmed moments later, when his left shoulder met with my right shoulder, and remained there. At this point, there are only a few stops before I've reached my destination, so I try to psyche myself into remaining quiet.

"Stay calm. He's just interested in the game. And has zero sense of personal space."

I close in to myself a bit, but continue my testing. Seconds later, I see his head turn to face me, rather than my device, and he asks:

"You ever try to suck your own dick?"

Strike one. This isn't the worst question I've ever been asked, but it definitely takes the top ten, and it definitely managed to catch me off guard. Now a captive audience, I pause the game and turn to face him. Before I speak, I'm able to survey him a moment. Physically, he seemed unkempt, and his wardrobe was rather unseasonal, given the heat. I inhale, and say,

"...No. I can't say I have."

Taking notice of my pause, he replies,

"Oh. I just figured that conversation would be more interesting than what you're doing now."

Strike two. I take some exception to his reply, and decide I'd attempt to make him feel just a percentage of the awkwardness he instills:

"Well, that's rude. I made this game."

Surprisingly, it works. His eyes widen just slightly, and he begins to backpedal in his speech before changing the subject altogether. He reveals that he's not an Arizona native, which would explain the clothing and possibly the proximity. He continues,

"But, man, I've been on the bus for a few months, and I have to say, every time just gets weirder and weirder."

And, strike three. I wanted to point out the fact that he was the determining factor of his strange bus encounters, but I could see my stop was next. I pull the cord, stand up, and impart some wisdom:

"Well, I've got about ten or so years more experience on the bus than you, so, friendly advice; hold on to your ass, because it gets much more weird than what you've just done."